Poured Out

What do you do when you wake up day after day feeling tired, exhausted?

What do you do when you feel like you’ve run all night long or been hit by a truck?

I stopped myself. These have been the thoughts upon eyes opening…and mind racing… my body feels so tired.

Nursing an infant is hard work. Amazing work. Hard work on the body.

“Thank him, whispers my soul.” I tell my heart, “Thank him.”

Ann Voskamp talks about this eucharisto in “The Broken Way” and this is the way.. The Way has shown us this way… The way of love and service.

I turn on my Bible App and see… He reminds me… Do this with me. Rejoice with me. Serve as I have. Love as I have love. I can provide all you need.

Paul says it in Phililians 2

Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.

Philippians 2:17 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/php.2.17.NKJV

I am thankful for those who have gone before me in the faith. I can glean from them. I can be encouraged and reminded of the power of Christ. Thank you, Jesus.

His grace is sufficient for me…

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
II Corinthians 12:9 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/2co.12.9.NKJV

Friends, let us keep our heads up and heart full on these truths… They are my fuel for today! How about you? How can I pray for you today?

May the grace of God be yours today.

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Fear Not, Woman!

Hi ladies. I just got out of a session. Went to therapy! *Singing voice*

I get to have this healthy, healing process because of a County Program. I am so grateful to have experienced Therapy. *Still experiencing, I plan to for the year.

The therapist asked if I’d process through untruths about myself as a mom. And write a truth for those untruths as a mom. Here’s my list:

  • I am failing to teach about x,y,z. Truth: I can be diligent and ask God to help me teach truths and give knowledge of age appropriate content for my children for all four!
  • I shouldn’t complain and grumble. Truth: I will totally fail. I will grumble and complain BUT I can certainly pray and operate in Holy Spirit power. I can journal and process frustrations first with my Heavenly Father and self and then with my husband and then with friends.
  • I will never get on top of home management. Truth: I can do all things that Christ strengthens me with… With God guiding me, I will have a system that brings about peace and contentment in my home management.
  • I am failing. Truth: I will fail.. it’s ok. God is my Redeemer

That’s it for now..

How about you? How are you doing?

Lioness

I am a warrior.

Another description I’d like to agree with is Sheepdog.

Fierce

Bold

Strong

A few times I have been called scary or intimidating.

With the latter descriptions, I know an example of God’s grace in my life is that I have a husband! My husband is so tender and kind yet no nonsense.

Anyway, in me is a lioness. She’s on the prowl. She has a pack. She’s on duty. She’s alert.

I have always felt this way. No more holding back! I am a feeler to the core.

Within me are two questions that came out of listening to a program through Pacific Garden Missions.

I asked a couple of my closest girlfriends 1)What is God birthing in you and 2) What distractions is the enemy putting before you?

I feel like God is growing prayer, fervent prayer. He’s teaching me his power. I can’t believe I have access to the King of kings! The distraction is this postpartum depression. Lack of sleep. Feeling like fighting and complaining is draining.

I see you, Devil. I will not be shaken!

Friend, you were created with a plan and a purpose. God is the Creator. So… What is he birthing in you and what distractions do you think that the enemy is putting out?

When you’re up and awake

Up and awake.

Don’t want to be.

Sleepiness didn’t come to me last night. Pressures, tasks, hungry baby, worries, plans, dreams, frustrations lingers around.

I wonder the time. I grab my phone and see… Yikes it’s 5:30 and I am totally awake. I’ve only slept six hours.

Within me rages this battle of the mind.

I go to a place to do a “brain dump.”

Why do you have me awake, Lord?

I say some means things to my God. I should be able to sleep. I want my daughter to sleep without stuffy nose. This should happen, that should happen, this shouldn’t, that shouldn’t.

Oh man.

Take your thoughts captive, Sudea. You can do this.

My body surges with the cortisol. I feel stress and anxiety choking me.

Why?!

Isn’t it crazy? Moms have to wake up so often particularly in the first year of the baby’s life?

I think it’s humbling. I know it is for me. I need to RELY on God. He created me. He created my husband. He created my children. He sustains us. He surely can let me rest in him six or seven or eight hours of sleep. It’s all grace.

Take your thoughts captive.

Take your thoughts captive; set them up again the word of Jesus… against the person of Jesus. Does it measure up? Does is make sense?

No.. this is all craziness. This is all madness.

I took my thoughts captive. I’m in charge of my own thoughts, words, and actions. I will submit myself into my Lord and God. I will rest in him.

How about you. What battle are you facing? How can I pray for you?

Pray this with me.

Dear God. I need you. I need Jesus! Please strengthen me. Help me to stand firm. Be alert. Help me to put my trust in you and submit these thoughts and actions to you. You alone are good and God. I can trust in you. Be my guide and strength. Thank you that I can rest in you. You are faithful. AMEN

All Eyes On…

Ever have a jet fly over and capture your attention and that of everyone around you?

This very thing happened Friday at our daughters’ school!! Our eyes…parent and grandparents became fixed on the sound of the jet. Eyes upward…and too the kids did the same. Our eyes go upward and we lead our kids to do the same.

Our lives should be lived as such to point upward and outward. When we’re so fixed on looking upwards at Jesus, the author and finisher of our Faith, we can draw our children’s eyes to look to Jesus as well.

Oh, to look fix my eyes upward on Friday. I was hoping to see the Blue Angels flying over and doing a loop-de-loop. Even better, I want to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus so my kids know the Creator, Author and Finisher of my faith.

Today’s verse was

In Spite of The Storm

The song “The Anchor Holds” by Ray Boltz anyone?? I love you this song…

I grew up with siblings years older than me and they introduced me to many songs…yeah, some of them were awful songs, catchy tunes but pop songs with despicable lyrics.

Moving on… I have put this song on repeat. My boat is rocking y’all. I have storms billowing and trying to bust my ship. I have staked my anchor though. My anchor is in that person of Jesus Christ. My God and Savior. My Good Shepherd, Bread of Life, and Living Waters where I can seek guidance, shelter, food and water.

Storms of dear friends in dreadful life circumstances of loss of a spouse, divorce, infidelity, etc. I myself am trying to come out of postpartum depression. I find myself irritable and weepy.

It’s all too much.

It’s so hard…

But then I remember my anchor. My Anchor.

The anchor holds as the lyrics say “for the ship is battered. The anchor holds though the sails are torn. I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging seas. The anchor holds in spite of the storm.”

The lyrics go further to say… That is where God proved his love for me… So true, friends.

What trial are you facing? Where have you seen God show up?

You may feel that he’s far away. Rest assured: he is right there.

God is with you and for you.

Hugs to you.