Up and awake.
Don’t want to be.
Sleepiness didn’t come to me last night. Pressures, tasks, hungry baby, worries, plans, dreams, frustrations lingers around.
I wonder the time. I grab my phone and see… Yikes it’s 5:30 and I am totally awake. I’ve only slept six hours.
Within me rages this battle of the mind.
I go to a place to do a “brain dump.”
Why do you have me awake, Lord?
I say some means things to my God. I should be able to sleep. I want my daughter to sleep without stuffy nose. This should happen, that should happen, this shouldn’t, that shouldn’t.
Oh man.
Take your thoughts captive, Sudea. You can do this.
My body surges with the cortisol. I feel stress and anxiety choking me.
Why?!
Isn’t it crazy? Moms have to wake up so often particularly in the first year of the baby’s life?
I think it’s humbling. I know it is for me. I need to RELY on God. He created me. He created my husband. He created my children. He sustains us. He surely can let me rest in him six or seven or eight hours of sleep. It’s all grace.
Take your thoughts captive.
Take your thoughts captive; set them up again the word of Jesus… against the person of Jesus. Does it measure up? Does is make sense?
No.. this is all craziness. This is all madness.
I took my thoughts captive. I’m in charge of my own thoughts, words, and actions. I will submit myself into my Lord and God. I will rest in him.
How about you. What battle are you facing? How can I pray for you?
Pray this with me.
Dear God. I need you. I need Jesus! Please strengthen me. Help me to stand firm. Be alert. Help me to put my trust in you and submit these thoughts and actions to you. You alone are good and God. I can trust in you. Be my guide and strength. Thank you that I can rest in you. You are faithful. AMEN
Intentional Mommyhood 