Good Days of Motherhood

I like the good days way more than the bad. Honestly, I’d like to pretend bad days don’t happen and shouldn’t happen. Boo. That’s unrealistic, right?

The world we live in is broken and in need of salvation… All creation is groaning, the Bible says. We see sickness hits plants, animals and people. One day, God will restore it all!

Onward to the original post! I had a good day today. I got stuff done and felt like emotionally I held it together. I imagined myself in a school of fish feeling fine, floating along… Not one of those days where a large fish is coming after me and I am frantic.

There’s something to be said about the good days of motherhood. When I have these good days I am reminded why I love being a wife and a mom.

  • I’m appreciated.
  • My husband says “thanks!”
  • My children are patient with themselves, with me and with their sisters.
  • Meals are made
  • Foods are eaten
  • Laundry is done
  • Dishes are being cleaned

I just wanted to list a few.

I measure motherhood and the good days by the tasks completed but greater still, I want to measure them by the smiles, coos, laughter, & bravery I experienced either in the giving or receiving end.

Grateful.

Even in the challenges and the challenging days, I want to mark it with gratitude. I believe this is a noble goal for a wife and a mom.

How was your day? How did it go? What went well and what could be done differently? What is one thing to be thankful for?

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What To Do When You Get Woken Up

I’d like to say this is a post about how to do and what to do, a results based post, but it isn’t. It’s about today! What happened today.

I did the boo-boo or the taboo or the no-no and went to bed late. As a parent: this is not a wise thing to do when you have young children. The nature of infants and young children is that they are moment to moment beings who are growing at a rate us adults in which us adults have decreased. Look at our metabolism. If you are over twenty something and near thirty, you can tell that you are changing slowly, like not losing that extra five pounds. 🙄🤣😂

So, what do you do?

Here’s what I did: kept calm and carried on. Laid down the law with love and gentleness. I let my daughters know they were up two hours earlier than they normally are so they’ll need rest time later.

I headed to the kitchen, got my Bible and journal and put on the coffee pot.

I’d HAD to shift my head and heart.

Lately, folks, it’s been lots of head (thinking and knowledge) but not a lot of heart (feeling and understanding & transformation).

So, I laid in bed begging God to put my children back to sleep because it was five in the morning and bitterness billowed. Rage roared it’s ravenous voice at me. Then I stilled my heart and said, “Okay, God. Why do you want me awake? We could talk. I am willing.”

Preaching to myself here: when I get woken up tomorrow and the next days, I am going to pray and jot notes down. Let’s be honest: anxiety has kept me up and wakes me up. My body has had four beautiful daughters. I have marathoned motherhood like no one is watching (ok, maybe like everyone is watching) and I get way too easily frustrated and bitter.

I’m done being bitter. Look me up, I have a new address: 1234 Better Lane.

Jk. I am aiming for it though.

Shouldn’t we all look for good but for GREAT? I know I want to be transformer and I want to live and see and drive in “better lane” and “great lane” and “grateful lane” not bitter, no thanks. Not just meh, or good, no thanks. Not guilty or grumpy or grumbling but grateful!

So, I will ask God, my Heavenly Father what he wants to talk about…after all, I get to hang out with the Creator of the Universe. I want to bask in his presence even if it is the middle of the night in my world. He sustains all life… he’s going to sustain me.

Praying for you. Pray for me.

Parenting is hard but you are not alone. Your story is still unfolding.

Mom Needs Alone Time

Here I sit. Disappointed, frustrated, uneasy.

I had little alone time or time to recharge and I feel like I will burst

My heart aches and my stomach churns.

My breaking point: four kids, ages six and under. I know four kids is a lot to some…

I have never felt so unloved, short-tempered, irritable, short-of-breath, frustrated as I do now.

I wanted a turn at having some quiet…I found it. In the dark. After everyone went to sleep. It’s an awful feeling.

I cannot be as patient or kind or happy right now nor do I want to be. I honestly am calling it quits for the night: which means I am going to be woken up a few times tonight by each kid.

Boy.

The struggle. The juggle.

It is happening and it feels better to share the cold reality to one facet of parenting: things you think and say.

I said plenty.

This is how I fell into a depression during pregnancy: the loneliness and the staying up late, inability to stay asleep and then being woken up and then caring hour upon hour for each person including myself (usually myself as the last person).

So, tonight: opportunity for alone time happened through journaling and blogging. Praise Jesus.

I am willing to shave off a few minutes of sleep to process out these negative emotions and feelings so that I can replace them with different ones.

I choose rest. I choose sleep. A goodnight to you all.

My Feeling About Bedtime

Oh the dreaded bedtime. Usually a struggle to get them to bed.

But then…

We changed things up a bit!!

Truth: my kids get a lot of our attention at bedtime. We used to hate it.

What we do now: chat, read, pray and I sing two songs them to bed.

Songs: Jesus Loves Me and Amazing Grace.

Routine: calm/quiet, usually brush teeth (not always every night), PJs and pull ups (usually diapers) and then begins the devotional, chats, GIANT questions about life, lights out, more questions, prayer and songs. Cue quiet and snores.

I decided not to complain or hate it that much since I stopped begging people for their routine. I grilled friends and strangers… What ifs and so on… But became exceedingly frustrated with gaps ANS unsatisfactory answers.

Then we found what works for our family and I would give a few more minutes and silliness to answer their questions.

Bedtime reminds me I can be stern but I can choose to connect and establish the matter-of-fact attitude that bedtime is here we can embrace it… drift to sleep.

I am so grateful for bedtime. The beautiful rest, quiet, etc. First for the parents who need to bond and connect. Next, I love that during sleep: so much happens!! What a creative God we have! I thank you God for bedtime for kiddos and for parents. Thank you for restoring health and growing us while we sleep. Give us your rest, only you can offer, the Great I Am. It is in Jesus’ name we pray.

My Favorite Feeling Returns

If you’ve been following my blog, I shared that I have encountered Postpartum Depression for the first time. Now, it’s really challenging to have it but to have have never experienced it until having my fourth makes me feel like I’ve been t-boned while driving in the lane of life.

No worries. No totalling the car of my life. I had great intervention and encouragement that led me on the path of recovery.

I have noticed sensations returning to my mind, body and soul: Euphoria.

This year’s word is Joy.

I feel like Euphoric is more like me… Joy is polished and pretty but if I’m honest… I love feeling euphoric… Intense excitement marks my life. I am simple. I am a smiling soul.

When I’m not smiling, I am facing s challenge but no worries, I’ve pulled off the road for directions to Euphoria.

I have felt euphoria while cooking, eating, exercising (yup, this could be the litmus test because exercising is a challenge for this mama of four littles).

I can feel a surge of euphoria in my blood racing to knock on the doors to alert my heart and mind: joy, goodness and simply rejoicing!

Postpartum Depression will have no hold on me in this season.

I choose to recognize my season so that I may recognize my moment.

I noticed the feelings of joy and intense excitement returning and I can say, “Thank you, Jesus!”

How about you?

What do you feel most days? What do you wish to feel most days?

Meaningful Mother’s Day

Something is different this year.

I haven’t been told that I get to have a day off of home care or people care.

I am doing the mundane but trying to rock at it. Might as well, right?

Listening to a podcast by Havilah Cunnington, she reminded her listeners that

If you miss the season, you will miss the moment.

Isn’t that so good?

My season: mom of four littles and I am tired and busy. But I don’t want to mark the season soley by the negatives. Friends, I am going to choose to recognize my season, savor it and capture the moment.

And… You know… I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am so honored! My sweet friend and boss got me a gift… The most precious of all were her words. She also got me a gift card to my favorite store and told me it’s only for me! I am going to spend that gift card so fast, if I’m honest. Her words, however my heart has stored.

What treasure is the gift of life-giving, encouraging words. They are more precious than ten thousand gift cards.

You see, I have entered this parenting season with anxiety. I have entered it with unkindness to myself.

I received encouragement from a couple of friends and it just lifted my spirits.

So, thus far.. this Mother’s Day weekend has been more meaningful and memorable than past ones… We’re just getting started!

Live on “Living Bread”

Jesus said, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me. Jesus also called himself Living Water and Good Shepherd and Bread of Life.

I just ate a few slices of pepperoni. Yum. I believe in physical food but I also believe we must eat spiritual food. We’re spiritual beings.

Let’s choose to be women in the word. If you’re a man reading this: be a man of the word.

The word of God is living and active; it is sharper than anything two edge word and the Bible also says,

Let’s get into it…it is a source of freedom, fullness and fruitfulness…

Don’t have a physical Bible? Check out the app… YouVersion Bible app. You can track how many days you are in the word, aka the Bible.

I love this!!! My goal is to hit 365 days of being in the word. I like holding my physical Bible, too. I found a really fun Bible. I can journal in it and make notes.

Friend, will you join me? Come on. Let’s do this adventure of reading the Bible and putting God’s word in our hearts!!

Comment below. I’d like to know what you’re reading and what the spirit of God is teaching you!